This is probably becoming an annual rant from me. Mostly I’m writing this down so I can be prepared for the onslaught of peer pressure and bullying. I can hear them now. C’mon Jo, everyone’s going over to _____’s house. You know you want to make fun of them….
So here’s my list of why I hate American Idol
1) I don’t enjoy people being publicly mocked. Sure, if you sign up to be on TV, you kinda have it coming, but I can’t enjoy watching the hopes and dreams of thousands of tone deaf kids being shattered.
2) The first month of the competition is people screaming, crying, Simon mocking, Randy dawging, Paula trying to rebuild a broken ego and oh yeah, maybe just maybe, you’ll get a 20 second glimpse of someone who might be in the competition.
3) They constantly let people through to the Hollywood round who clearly don’t belong there.
4) They let even more duds through to the top 25.
5) And if this wasn’t bad enough, there’s always like 3 who make the top 12, one who stays in because they are charismatic on TV, one because they are funny looking and one because the trolls of the internet keep them for fun.
6) Once you might actually find a good singer, they are forced to sing bland pop songs that may or may not fit their voice.
7) Very few take musical risks. When they do, they are told by Randy that it was out of their ability and when they don’t they are told by Randy to take some chances.
8) I promise, by the time I hear the dog pound noises I’m about ready to throw things through the TV.
9) Then they pick theme weeks that mean nothing, except a fading music legend who’s trying to pimp a new CD. And said music star then has to force a smile and not mention how tone deaf half of them are.
10) The blatant product placements, complete with terrible acting.
11) The crying parents. There’s always two or three.
12) In three hours a week, there’s maybe 3 minutes worth of decent singing. If it’s exceptionally good, I’ll just find it on youtube in the morning.
13) Someone in the booth can’t mix the sound right. Because there have been many performances where our living room group commented on the poor nature, only to hear Randy talk about how it was great. And Randy is the one with perfect pitch!
14) Wonderfalls, Arrested Development, Firefly. I hate you Fox.
15) They don’t allow them to play instruments or write their own material. Though I hear, spoiler alert, that may change this year. Who cares.
16) Seacrest. Out.
So unless my mind gets changed…which could depending on my need to flirt, I just might…I won’t be watching American Idol.