Your Battlestar Galactica Cliff Notes

If you’re like me, you don’t like jumping into the middle of a series. You don’t know the characters or anything about their past. But Battlestar Galactica needs you! It’s the sci fi show so based in reality it leaves your mind numb. It won a Peabody award! It has been referenced on The Office and Veronica Mars! And now it’s in danger of ending too soon! So here are some cliff notes to let you get started until you can catch up on DVD or iTunes.

Note: The following spills everything we know about the series thus far. But that’s the point of this post because I want you to watch it THIS SUNDAY (Jan 21) at 10/9c.In the picture (L to R)- Gaius Baltar, Number Six, Saul Tigh, Laura Roslin, Bill Adama, Lee Adama, Galen Tyrol, Sharon Agathon, Kara Thrace

PLOT– The Cylons nuked a planet called Caprica, trying to wipe out the human race. A few survivors got away and are trapped in a cat-and-mouse game with the Cylons. The survivors have struggles with their food and water supplies, the perils of space travel and serious cabin fever. To keep the fleet from killing each other, Adama told them they would find “Earth”, the mythical lost colony of humans. In the meantime, they found another planet that could sustain life. Adama and Roslin didn’t want to stop, for fear the Cylons would find them. But the survivors elected Baltar president and he chose to build a home on New Caprica. A year later, the Cylons showed up and put the humans under occupation. Adama escaped but came back to rescue the rest. With the fleet reunited, the humans and Cylons are in a race to interpret the ancient scriptures that lead to Earth.

Love Connections:

Lee/Kara/Dualla/Anders– Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace. At first it was more like a brother but that lasted all of a nanosecond. Kara was engaged to Lee’s brother but he died a long time ago. She fell in love with her male equivalent, Anders, and married him the morning after sleeping with Lee. Lee responded by marrying Dualla. Dualla and Anders know that their spouses are sneaking around behind them. It’s such a universally known fact that even the Cylons are wondering when these two kids will work it out.

Helo/ 2 Sharons/The Chief/Cally– Helo had a coworker crush on Sharon/Boomer, who was dating The Chief. When Helo was voluntarily stranded on Caprica, he met another Sharon/Athena (but didn’t know at the time it wasn’t the same one.) They fell in love. Helo learned the truth and didn’t care. On Galactica, Boomer broke up with the Chief and then shot Adama. Cally killed Boomer in revenge. The Chief still feels awkward around Athena but is okay now that he married Cally.

Adama/Roslin– nothing official yet. Just a giant hope of this recapper. It’s a beautiful friendship that includes fights, laughs, doobies and a dance or two. You know those cute diamond ads where the old couple holds hands? Those jokers got nothing on these leaders of humanity.

Who’s Who:

Galactica- an aging warship or “battlestar”; the last military vessel in the known universe.

The Fleet- the last humans in the Universe, roughly 41,000 that we know about, running for their lives from the Cylons, desperately searching for the (myth?) 13th Colony known as Earth.

Cylons- human-like robots; bent on total human annihilation; also looking for Earth but we’re not sure why. Twelve total models but we’ve only seen seven. Also known by the slang term “Toaster”.

William “Bill” Adama, Admiral- military leader of the fleet, adoptive father figure to all, except his actual son, Lee. Deceased son Zach was engaged to Kara Thrace.

Lee “Apollo” Adama- beautiful man candy pilot with serious daddy issues; loves Kara Thrace but is married to Dualla.

Kara “Starbuck” Thrace- rebellious, outspoken, most skilled and emotionally messed up fighter pilot in the fleet; loves Lee Adama but is married to Samuel Anders.

President Laura Roslin- soft spoken, tough as nails leader of the Fleet; imperfect but generally regarded as the moral compass; possibly (fingers crossed!!) falling in love with Bill Adama.

Dr. Gaius Baltar- self serving, self righteous, traitor of mankind; in love with Cylon Number Six; main ambition is to live another day.

Number Six- Cylon who nuked Caprica (the humans’ previous home); in love with Gaius Baltar; also appears frequently in Baltar’s imagination in a red dress.

Karl “Helo” Agathon- Galactica’s new 2nd in command and perpetuator of fair treatment for the Cylons; married a Cylon- Sharon “Athena” Agathon; had a child named Hera, previously thought dead, now known to be alive.

Sharon “Athena” Agathon- Cylon assigned to get pregnant by Helo but fell in love and abandoned her race to become an officer in the Colonial Fleet.

Sharon/“Boomer” Valerii- Same Cylon model as Athena; was originally a sleeper in the Fleet, almost murdered Bill Adama.

Saul Tigh- oldest friend of Adama, total alcoholic (and a mean one), also 2nd in command on Galactica; recently executed his wife for treason; lost his eye thanks to the Cylons.

Dualla aka Dee- works in the CIC (command center), married to Lee; knows pretty much everything about everything.

Samuel T. Anders- former professional athlete, led the Resistance on both Caprica and New Caprica in guerrilla warfare; married to Kara Thrace.

Felix Gaeta- works in the CIC and could probably reassemble the entire battlestar faster than MacGuyver; formerly had a man crush on Baltar; provided intel for the Resistance.

Galen “The Chief” Tyrol- Galactica’s deck chief and all around everyman.

Where we left off:

The Cylons and the Fleet have stopped at this planet in a deadly stalemate over the “Eye of Jupiter”. The Eye is a landmark on the path to Earth. Neither side knows what to do with it, but Adama is willing to risk nuking the planet over the Cylons getting it. But with Lee, Kara, Dualla, Anders, the Chief, Cally and a handful of others on the planet surface, who is he really bluffing?

You can watch the last episode “Eye of Jupiter” on SciFi.com or Download the entire Series via iTunes.

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