BSG 3×01 & 3×02 Recap

I wish I knew how to make a shorter post with a link to the rest of it, but I’m just not that swift with html. So here’s a long entry recapping Friday’s Battlestar Galactica.

BSG 301: Occupation and 302: Precipice

Previously on BSG, the remainder of all humanity adds Cylon occupation to list of horrible things about living on New Caprica.

Glimpses around New Caprica. A scruffy Col. Saul Tigh, sans one eye, is huddled like a beaten animal in a Cylon holding cell. Cylon Leoben serves food to Starbuck inside a nice house. Meanwhile, Anders and Tyrol blow a raider and a few toasters to bits. Ellen Tigh, Saul’s wife, uses her only skill to bust her husband out of jail. Starbuck gives Leoben a stepford like Thank you as he cuts her food for her. He’s smart not to trust her with a knife, but she goes Hitchcockian and stabs him over and over. It takes a brave woman to stick a fork in a toaster. Brave or Deranged, your pick. She wipes her bloody hand on the carpet and returns to her dinner.

Former President Laura Roslin chronicles 134 days of occupation and resistance. She’s still a little bitter about Baltar being president. In Colonial One, the Cylons argue about whether to seek peace with the humans or just finish them off. In the bitter cold New Caprica, an informant drops off government plans to Chief Tyrol. Cally’s worried her husband will just vanish like the others, but he leaves anyway to meet with the other Resistance leaders, Anders and Tigh. They want to send a message to the Cylons and the human collaborators by blowing up the New Caprica Police graduation ceremony since Baltar will be there. Anders doesn’t believe Galactica will return and hasn’t seen his wife Starbuck in four months.

House prison. Leoben returns after downloading. Starbuck has killed him five times. Now that’s persistence. She tries to play him again but he remembers the knife he left behind. He just wants her love even if it means holding her hostage and creeping her out.

Galactica. CAG!Kat leads a training mission. The sixteenth mission in a row, according to XO Karl “Helo” Agathon. Adama doesn’t care and orders number 17. Fat!Apollo objects. He unleashes his complaints but Big Papa Adama slams that garbage back in his face with a side of Fat! Insults. Later, Adama confides in Cylon Sharon. (Helo’s baby’s mama will be called Sharon; Adama’s attempted murderer will be called Boomer.) They discuss how guilt manifests as anger but I’m distracted by his ‘stache. She wants Adama to forgive himself and then save the world.

New Caprica Pyramid field. The Resistance leaders want Duck to go on a one-way mission. Since his wife got murdered in a temple shootout in the webisodes, he volunteers for the ultimate sacrifice. Tyrol isn’t down with the plan, but Tigh insists there are no rules in war.

Pegasus. Fat!Apollo cries to his wife, Dualla. She gives him the same speech about Apollo being fat but with sympathy and a side of Freud. Fat!Apollo is a whiny grump but I’ll still love him.

New Caprica. The Resistance, using their smuggled codes, make contact with a raptor from Galactica. New Caprica’s hope is Galactica’s peril. Roslin gathers a Naughty list of collaborators, assuming Santa’s not a Cylon. Duck finally makes his peace with the gods and zips up his Coat of Bombs. Gaeta can’t warn Tyrol in time that Baltar’s not going to the ceremony. Duck shakes a Cylon Xena’s hand before pushing the button. With the most startling explosion sequence ever on TV, Roslin’s naughty list just got much shorter.

But Roslin has bigger fish to fry because she’s been in jail. Baltar comes to talk to her about ethics and pleads with her to publicly condemn suicide bombing. Roslin’s not buying his baloney. He’s just following his conscience. Wait, what? Since when did you have a conscience, Baltar? Oh, that’s right. She’s that blonde figment named Six.

Galactica. The Colonial officers strategize on how to help the humans. Adama wants to send Sharon to lead the rescue since he trusts her and the Centurions can’t distinguish her from her copies. Fat!Apollo whines and argues it’s too big of a risk to mankind to return to New Caprica. Adama agrees but has to go back, urging Apollo to take Pegasus and the rest of the civilian fleet to Earth.

Jammer (who either survived the bombing or is a Cylon, whaaaat?) leads the New Caprica police to arrest people in the night, including Cally. The next morning, Tyrol’s frustration spills all over Gaeta. He then takes his verbal rampage out on Jammer whose conscience is slowly returning to him.

Leoben surprises Starbuck with HER CHILD. Go to a farm, lose an ovary and voilà! Baby ‘Buck is half crazy Cylon. What happened to love being the missing ingredient in Cylon reproduction? Starbuck goes numb. Leoben leaves them alone, making this officially Starbuck’s worst nightmare. She hides in the bathroom and Baby ‘Buck takes a tumble on the stairs. Her guilt trips the mother switch. Starbuck takes Leoben’s hand as they look on their offspring in the hospital.

Jammer convinces Boomer to save Cally from the death warrant signed by Baltar. Crazy Cally tells Boomer she wishes she could shoot her again. The Cylon Council bullies Baltar into signing a death warrant. They shoot Caprica Six in the head and threaten to shoot Baltar. His “conscience” tells him to sign it.

Ellen Tigh, continues her self-serving existence by stealing the Resistance’s plan for the Cylons. She and Baltar should get together and compare notes. The New Caprica police round up the prominent humans still alive including Roslin, Tom Zarek and Cally. Boomer pleads for Cally again. Sharon Agathon takes her place in the Colonial fleet and begins her rescue mission. She meets up with Anders but they get interrupted by Centurions. Jammer and the Police bring their prisoners to the woods. Jammer tells Cally to run and she does. Tom tells Roslin he wishes she had stolen the election. Centurions march up the hill and the screen goes black as we hear massive gunfire unleashed on the prisoners.

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One response to “BSG 3×01 & 3×02 Recap

  1. “It takes a brave woman to stick a fork in a toaster.”

    Ohhh, hahahaahaha… 🙂

    FYI, I think this article (http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42215) explains how to do the expandy post thing. Maybe. I was pretty lazy and never actually did it myself in Blogger.

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